I cannot believe this blog is still around.  So much has changed since I was here last.

Picking up pieces of my shattered life to put things back together.  But do I want that?  Would it not be easier to just leave it be?  Who cares anyway?!

是日晚餐

是日晚餐：蠔油西生菜加臘鴨肶送飯。。。成隻臘鴨肶丫，超豪！

To think about it, I used to proud myself for being active on the internet.  But I simply don't do anything about it any more.  Is it too late for me to try??

visited by in-laws at Geneva...

After everything... we finally settled down in Switzerland. We also received Eric's parents for the first time the last weekend. Quite an experience I'd say. But certainly good practice for future visits of families.

It is really happening!!

He's finally coming for real. After such a prolonged waiting, plus all that mess with my family, I don't know if I can still enjoy the excitment. All I know is that I really really want this, whether it will work or not, we'll see~~

easy hiking trip at Lamma Island

Enjoyed a pleasant day out with Michelle and her colleagues. We went to Lamma Island and visited the wind mill. And the day end with a big seafood dinner. Nice food but the boat ride back is kind of bumpy.

Nonononono....

I have been warning Eric about Venus's nutty behaviour and I told him that he had to say "NO... ..." when she touches him in a wrong way. So this is what happened~~

not working at office

Work has been really slow these days, or is it just me not in working mood? I really don't know. I don't really appreciate being too lazy, better pick things up a little... tomorrow!!

Prisha's first moon dinner

The dinner actually happened before I went to France. Prisha has had her second dinner part already. It has been a while for us to have any new member of the family. It is amazing how much having a kid will change your life. Pearly is not quite the same as I remember. But I think the changes happening is for the good, both for her and for Rai.

@ Toulon

We spent a weekend at Toulon to visit Eric's sister. This is my first time to the South of France. The city is quite different from Paris, kinda more tourists' attraction that I have expected. Too bad that we have only a brief stay. But it is always nice to spend some time together~~

life goes on~~

It's amazing how time flies. It has already been 3 months I have been here and my probation expired. So far so good~~ But with the big merger thing coming up. Don't really know if I'll still have a job afterwards. Well, no point of overthinking (astonishing to hear this from me, right?). So to a certain extent, I am kinda in this live by the day mode. Too many uncertainties in my life, professionally and personally... Kinda tiring~~

my first event at the new company

Yes, I changed job again, and this is my first function with the new company. Not too complicated. Little hiccups happened at the ceremony, not too bad I'd say. Hope my boss will agree with me on that one. I was a little worry about the weather but it turns out to be ok. I'll still be busy for the coming two weeks but I haven't quite started a paper for school due on coming Thursday. Wellwellwell, I deserve a rest. I'll start tomorrow. There's always a tomorrow! Hehe~~

not in working mode

Here I am, sitting at my desk in office, not really working though. Of course I have quite a few tasks to be completed. But I am really not in any kind of working mood. With my last day upcoming, my boss is hesitating on giving me new assignments. Yet he refused to accept alternative of leaving me alone. So he invented a bunch of transition tasks for me. Yeahyeahyeah... like that serves any purpose at all. Anyway, I'll keep up his schedule but I certainly won't hand in anything before its absolute deadline. :-p

Isn't he just adorable?!!

No, he's not my son!!!

A lot happened to me in the past 6 months but not quite as dramatic. Basically, I am still in the process of making things work. Well, actually... we are. Can't really get it done just on my own. This is one of the moments in your life that you wish it would work out. There is no guarantee that it will be nice and perfect, which most of the time, will not be the case, but you just want it to work… Guess we’ll have to wait and see how it goes~~

I got my licence!!!

I finally got my motorcycle licence. When I dug out my old records, it turns out that I took the first part of the test back in 1994, which was over the decade ago. It is still a one-take pass, guess it just dragged on for a bit longer than I have initially expected... ^_^

I trust you and I know you will wait for me.

He said "I trust you and I know you will wait for me." What is there to be trust? Or from another point of view, what is there not to be trust? Am I waiting for him? It never appear so until he brings this up. Am I overthinking? YES. That is the only thing I am sure about.

隨筆... ...

向前望，儘未見出路，總比原地踏步要強
念昨日，無限長緬懷，仍要珍惜當下眼前

44 days from 25 days

44 days left from 25 days in paradise... It sounds a bit exaggerative, right? But it is really my source of strength against all the nonsense happening...

the sky is so blue today~~

looking out the window, watching the blue sky, makes you wonder why are we trapped in office

we work, we eat, we sleep, is that really what life is meant to be, can’t we have more than just that?

boat tour in Paris

Went on a boat tour, it was nice. The air was a little breezy. Enjoying my vacation so far doing nothing...

Stunned by the gesture.

I love flowers, though these are not exactly my favourite kind. And I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything. But the truth is that I was stunned when I saw this "flower basket". I was expecting something more like a bouquet or so. Of course I am touched that he actually remembers the flowers I was carrying the other night. What can I say? This is a thoughful and sweet gesture, yet a little bit to my surprised...

What I missed most...

What I missed most was that feeling that I don't have to speak; I don't have to suqeeze a smile; I don't have to think of something to say to entertain him or myself... Just being there is already good enough.

felt the pressure

When it is almost like one of those busiest time of the year, which at the same time you're not exactly the most preferred one with your boss, it could be some pressure there. You felt as if you cannot do anything right. There's always something wrong with your work. The most minor errors were magnified a thousand time at critical moments like this. Oh well, since there's really nothing you can do about it except being extra careful, which I am already doing. The mischap here is that I am never a careful person. Yeah, I know I do sound worthy of sympath~~

rough time at work

It doesn't feel good when your boss tossed you around like a piece of rag...

Can you even figure out this is me???

Well... I did it!!!

One hour and Eighteen minutes for 10Km... Can't say it is any good result but the important thing is that I did it. I am just one minute behind my Sis and is already 352 position behind in the overall ranking. Can you believe that?? Three hundred something person in one minute, it is almost like 6 persons per second. Amazing, isnt' it?!

family dinner on the firework night

WoW... ... What a huge group!!!

my first official occasion with senior management

This is the first formal "extenal" function I attended with members of the senior (oh well... some of them at least). Still trying to figure out an appropriate stance and attitude. Dinner lasted until 11pm and I met with some friends for a drink (or maybe a few) afterwards... I go my hair set during lunch hour, wearing ordinary business suit. When I was walking back to office... really felt like a "working girl" with perfect hair and ordinary clothing. :-b

new year resolution???

~ NONE ~

Or maybe just one little thing, i.e. "To Talk Less and Do More."

the temperature is falling~~~

Finally it feels more like winter!!! The temperature is falling below 15 degree celsius for the coming couple of days. Though I am not a big fan of freezing weather but still I think it is time to feel a bit of the chilling air.

being anti-social

I have been hiding in my own cave for a week or two. For no special reason, just need to break away from things happening and people around me. I am still reachable (to most of them). But I tends to reduce the amount of socialising activities, even with my family. The most efficient way to reach me was to message me online. That of course alert a few… my Mom in particular. I guess we all just need to be left alone sometimes. Though I still miss you all from time to time, but still I'll be away for a little longer. I'll be back when I am ready...

this is really frustrating

Just when you thought you were taking initiative, taking one step ahead, doing more that you were asked to... someone came around and told you... "hey, this is no good... you better re-do it..." This is D-most frustrating moment of the day. I was trying to put into more effort, I was convinced this is more than just a few tasks you have to completed, I want to care about the work I am doing, I want them to actually make a difference... But it doesn't really matter... It is all down the drain. I ought to know better, but I guess I was being naive again...

pause and think

We all know that sometimes it is good to pause and think. But how many can really do that?! We all want to get things done at this instance. But the reality is things never turn out the way you expected. Only if someone can tell my boss that~~

Like Mother, Like Daughter... (Or the other way round!!!)

got the influenza vaccine today

Got the influenza vaccine today. Rumours and fears of avian flu crowded the territory. Guess we all die eventually but still we were hoping to stay around a bit longer... ...

Where's the bride & groom???

strange phone call

A guy just called my mobile, asking to speak to "Yvonne", claiming to be "Matthew". As I was wondering which Matthew was he. He asked, "Hey, why are you still at your Company?" So I replied, "Oh, it's only 4:oo p.m." And he continued, "I though you said you'll quit and join my company." At that point, I have to asked "Who are you?" And he retreated and said, "I probably got the wrong number." and hung up on me. When I tried to call the telephone number as displayed, he picked up and hung up immediately. STRANGE~~~

19 July 2005 - My baby boy cousin got married!!!

YES and NO

I think everyone was once in a dilemma like this. You have a dinner gathering you really want to go 'coz there're a couple of long lost friends were coming. You thought it would be nice to catch up a bit with them. But then you found out that another person whom you absolutely do not want to see is going too. So there you go-- the dilemma of to go and not to go.

I can't feel my legs.

Just came back from a 2-hour non-stop jogging. Can't feel my legs. Guess I am not getting any younger. The speed was terrible. But it was about duration this time. I'll need more training to be ready for the real thing.

nail polisher dryer

I bought this nail polisher dryer the other day. A very simple device, basically it is just a fan thing which you put your hand in to "blow dry" your nail polish. Not too practically but I just knew I got to get one when I saw it at the shop and yes... there's a story behind it.

My parents were not exactly the "well-educated" group. Don't get me wrong, they love us dearly. But the thing is when you're a kid, at a certain point you secretly wished that your parents could be better than they were, regardless how much they have already done. And I was a frustrated kid. I considered myself to be very mature (mentally) even when I was young and was full of anger for I believed no one understands. My Mom was the primarily care-taker since she's a full-time housewife and my Dad pretty much stood by whatever Mom said. Looking back from this point, I can understand and appreciate that is the only way they know or they could adopt, though obviously not too effective on me.

My Dad's younger brother and his wife, on the other hand, received better education and make a better living. I remember there was this one time I was visiting their place and saw a similar nail polisher dryer. That reminds me that my Mom NEVER polish her nails. As a matter of fact, her hands kinda tell you how difficult life had been for her. Of course, after all these years I realised that what you see could be rather fooling if you don't know the whole truth and there's no such thing as a "better" family. But then, that is another story... ...

Boss is not around.

Our boss just left for Shanghai and will not be back until Friday. It was just two days but it was already good enough. Still working but taking it slow definitely. Will probably leave on time and get some nice dinner.

To tame and to be tamed~~

To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be uniqe in all the world... ...

sitting at office but not working

I have not been in good terms with my family since ancient history. I don't know if it is me or is it for everyone. Of course I knew my parents love me dearly. They riased me the best they could, helped me as far as possible and tolerate with my intolerables. Yet, I don't think they know what I need and I don't think they are capable of giving me what I desire. Sad, isn't it?! I have been and will be the "good" daughter as they want me to be, but I don't think they can ever be the parents I wish they were. I know I sound rather cruel to say something like that, but this is how I truly felt about it. It is not as if I am going to ever let them know.

I don't even remember when was this taken.

How come I am the only one with red-eyes and SUPER FAT FACE???

Let's see how things work out.

Inspired by a little friend of mine, I have decided to take action in making an impossible dream come true. Don't know if it is going to work or not, but at least I have to give it a shot. I just don't want to regret the choice I made and felt miserable for all the things I could have missed.

Enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon doing absolutely NOTHING~~

not doing too good at work

Recently, I have been having this feeling that I am not doing good enough at work. Felt like I can't really get anything done properly.

At first I thought it was a lack of sleep thing so I went to bed real early (well... earlier than before); but no, it didn't help. So I tried real hard to be more careful with my work, still I keep making small and little errors which people would tolerate you only when you are at your first week for a new job. Yet I am already here for almost 3 months, almost time for probation appraisal. I can't forgive myself... how can I expect my boss to.

I have been talking to my friends, trying to figure out what went wrong. How come my efforts all went fruitless and that my performance was far from satisfactory. As usual, no decisive conclusion was reached. Nonetheless, I do realised one thing in the process of such discussions. That in my previous job, not much dare to condemn me for what I have done wrong. Sure I still make mistakes, plenty of them. But no one would really bother... or dare to puruse on them as long as I managed to fix them myself. Even at some cases, when they simply cannot be fixed. They are still rather forigving since they knew I have a lot in hand that I was allowed to make a few little errors. That privilege is no longer valid here. Guess I have to get used to that and adjust my attitude (if there's still any left).

It is just so fustrating when you do not get things done as you wish to, especially when you knew you are already trying very hard yet the deliverables are simply crapy. I knew I am better than this but right now I felt I am trapped with it.

～ 全書完 ～

……說著伸手過去，扣住令孤沖的手腕，嘆道：「想不到我任盈盈，竟也終身和一隻大馬猴鎖在一起，再也分不開了。」說著嫣然一笑，嬌柔無限。

三十一回：繡花

…在這成德堂上，怎容得你大呼小叫？見了教主，為什麼不跪下？膽敢不稱頌教主的文武聖德…

二十一回：囚居

……也不知昏迷了多少時候，終於醒轉，腦袋痛得猶如已裂了開來，耳中仍如雷霆大作，轟轟聲不絕。睜眼漆黑一團，不知身在何處，支撐著想要站起，渾身更無半點力氣，心想：「我定是死了，給埋在墳墓中了。」一陣傷心，一陣焦急，又暈了過去……

I am so sleepy right now~~

I am so sleepy right now. Already at my 3rd coffee of the day but still I can barely keep my eyes open. I guess I really have to get some rest tonight. I have not been thinking much recently. But I am having this feeling that I do have something to sort out. It is one of those time you knew you need to sit down and think. For some unknown reasons, I don't seem to be able to figure what is that about. Weird, huh?! I have this hunch that it is something of great importance but I just don't know what it is. Feeling a bit insecure and a little bit too calm. It feels like I am at one of those brief moments of slience and peace before a feirce and violent thunder storm arrived. Let's hope it would be less damaging than Katrina... ...

十一回：聚氣

... 向廳內瞧去，只見賓位上首坐著一個身材高大的瘦削老者，右手執著五嶽劍派令旗 ...

sitting at the pier

Went to some kind of seminar at the City Hall. Walked pass the peir as I was leaving. Can't help myself from sitting down on one of those benches. Stared at the harbour for half an hour. Walked home feeling contended. Life could be as simple as that. Or boring you might say. But as long as I am okay with it. That's all I am asking for.

阿欣屋企BBQ -> Dora碧桂園渡假屋 -> 泰國曼谷之旅

琴日去左阿欣新居燒野食。我地（新舊）MA友都好耐無咁樣嘅gathering。淨係gossip都已經停唔到口，加埋Ola對洪生痴戀成狂嘅表現更加令人目不暇給。仲即刻約埋下次去Dora間碧桂園渡假屋，同十月尾去泰國。老老實實，去泰國就真係可能難夾啲，班友都唔知係咪吹水多。但係去碧桂園就真係無咩難度呀？！希望真係成到事喇！

chaos at office...

Done with interim resutls announcement. But then we have to deal with the printing of the actual report. But at least I got to settle down a little bit today.

I think I did a okay job. Yes, made a few errors but no "MAJOR" one. It feels good when you know you are doing better and better at your work. Though when I get to know my job, my Company better, there are things which made me worry. But again, nothing I could not tolerate, well, not yet... So I guess I'll be around for a while.

用最普通嘅語氣講一句最普通嘅說話，但係你已經聽得出佢真係關心你……

有無試過比人激親，唔係咩大件事，可能大家都有錯，但係你根本唔想理佢。大家唔瞅唔睬，你唔搵佢，佢又唔搵你。當你以為自己好叻無事，佢突然打比你，只係講一句：「無…打比你，睇下你嬲完未…」嚴格嚟講，佢唔係道歉，再加唔可以算係認錯，因為你聽得出佢根本唔覺得自己有錯。佢只係真心緊張你，佢唔想你唔開心嘅顧慮凌駕於佢自己開唔開心之上。你仲可以想點？！佢唔係你邊個，亦都唔會係你邊個，但係可以咁重視你，點解？！同時，你會反問你自己為佢做過咩？可以做咩？！究竟係我太容易感動，定係我已經一個人太耐，唔再識處理人際關係？！

you know... ... it actually meant something sometimes

提示：金庸名著

和風薰柳，花香醉人，正是南國春光漫爛季節……

No place like home???

I have been living in this apartment for over 3 years. One would think that you'll grew to consider this as home. Sadly, that is not necessarily the case.

Don't get me wrong. I love this little space of mine. It's always in a disastrous mess but I am the one to blame. It had been taken good care of me, providing me with the shelter I need whenever I feel like cutting off from the outside world. Though it is getting all kinds of "little" problems which need to be attended to after 3 years of dedicated service. But no major issues ever took place. So I am okay with the way it is right now. In so many ways, I enjoyed being here than to be any place else.

Nonetheless, it does not make you feel like home. It doesn't really give me the feeling that we belong to each other, I don't feel any connection established. I feel like I am ready to pack and leave anytime if I need to.

I don't know if I am asking too much, expecting so much from a "house"?! But then, I always believe life is more than just about mere survival. Also, longing for something you cannot have gave you something to crave for... ...

I'm not scard

Sound like one worth seeing. They said it was based on a true story. I always found Spanish kids look a bit queer though. Another one I want to see would be "Changhen ge 長恨歌" of Stanley Kwan. Love watching the old Shanghai extravagant lifestyle, luxurious, tasteful, everyone living in this "I-am-going-to-die-tomorrow" mood. People live by the day, they simply do not know and do not care about what's going to happen next. And of course there's my favourite Daniel~~

wasted and sleepy~

Wasted and real sleepy~~ Enjoyed a nice usual weekend hangout. Drank enough to get myself light-headed but still in control. Great music... though did encountered a number of jerky fellas. But it is LKF. What do you expect???

my new job

my old job

What If One Day… I Turned Colour Blind

What If One Day… I Turned Colour Blind
Would It Make A Difference Or Am I Going To Be Fine

Rose Buds In Spring Would Not Be The Same
Praising The Blue Sky Of Summer Would Be Lame
Falling Leaves Of Autumn Danced In Vain
Fire Burning In Winter Would Only Be A Pale Flame

Does It Really Matter? Or Is It Just A Mind Game?
My Life Has Been A Cruel Joke With No One There To Entertain
What Is The Big Deal If There Is Nothing Else To Yield
Give Me A Break Or I'll Have To Kill

What If One Day… I Turned Colour Blind
Would It Make A Difference Or Am I Going To Be Fine…To Be Fine…To Be Fine…

time to read the book again

"I wonder, whether the stars are set alight in heaven so that one day each one of us may find his own again..."